Willingness vs Willfulness

I’ve been pondering this concept for a while. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy, willingness is doing what is needed i

n the moment. Willfulness means fighting against what needs to be done either by being actively disagreeable or just by refusing to do anything. A friend and children’s musician once wrote a song which describes willfulness perfectly. In “I’d rather eat slugs” he gives a long list of unpleasant things he’d rather do than kiss a girl. However, in the end he admits he thinks she’s cute. Check here and here to see some of his work!

I am not a skills trainer or psychotherapist but find many of the concepts interesting and applicable both to the work I do with the clients and the process I go through as a business owner. Willingness doesn’t mean just giving in or ceding control to others. Doing what needs to be done actually leads to more control rather than less. Usually there is some aspect of fear in being willful. So here is your challenge to do what needs to be done!